It’s interesting to me that I could feel such an aversion to permanence, such a strong draw to transience, but still feel so emotional about this move to London. After an hour-long phone call with a good friend, I came to realize that while I have no desire or emotional need to “settle down,” I do have the need to surround myself with people I know and love. As long as these people are easy to reach, I am comfortable and happy. But the idea of London, of not knowing anyone and of being 5000 miles and an ocean away from the people I love, is imposing.
I realize, of course, that I will make friends. I understand that new adventures produce new acquaintances. I know the permanence of my current relationships does not depend on proximity. Unfortunately emotion is decidedly impervious to knowledge and logic, which means that even though I am excited I am also a bit down. But that’s all part of it, I guess. What is an adventure if it doesn’t at some point produce a bit of all emotions?
And besides, I’d much rather have it this way than the alternative.
“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine…” (Paolo Cohelo; thanks Em.)